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Monday, April 29th, 2002
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2:56 am - wow
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been a long time i'm sure nobody even looks here anymore, its been a ride i shall soon tell the tale of the evil narc. stay tuned.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 2nd, 2001
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11:11 pm - SO MUCH!!!
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so much much has happened.... more a little later... not like anyone reads this, maybe i should get pen and paper... not much sense in writing live if no ones sees the damn thing...
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 22nd, 2001
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6:38 pm - ME!
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| Thursday, July 19th, 2001
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9:51 am - virtual suicide
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you know i was just thinking i have never had an internet girlfriend, or one of those relationships where you meet online and then visit each other alot? never... i wonder what this says??? Ho many people on the net have had a net thing? all the ones i have heard about have been cool, no psychotics or anything...
weird, how to go about this....
what do you think?
current mood:  exhausted
current music: the prodigy dj - ????????
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 18th, 2001
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5:46 pm - for all my home-dudes
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HAH!
what do you think?
current mood:  mischievous
current music: dust bros - this is your life / space monkeys
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(comment on this)
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5:12 pm - they know what is what but they dont know what is what, what the fuck
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so i'm trying to get this new job and i'm not comitting to any jobs till i know for sure... which means temp jobs wooo hooo... be "someones" secretary today, be "someone else's secretary tomorrow"
hmph...
theres this chicky and she's so very... hot... and she seemed cool.... and then she had to go and sleep with everybody. whats up with that? i mean okay, it's not really nice to judge but if she hadnt picked THOSE certain people, i've knowin these guys awhile and... yuk dude... yuk...
i fucking missed dave mathews aaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh someone shoot me!!!! ahhhhhhhhh! for real these guys i know run up there with staff shirts on, no one asks their names. They go in and they get assigned their positions and jobs and these guys end up leaving and walking up to the front stage and watching the show from like row 2... then they walk some people to the closest bar and come back.... now i dont know about you.... but this gives me some ideas.... i mean i LOVE dave, but 70 dollars a ticketup front? damn......
i saw the baby... good stuff!!!! she's getting so big so fast, sometimes i just cant believe it... uh oh back later
what do you think???
current mood:  flirty
current music: Rage - revolver
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 15th, 2001
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8:21 pm - rolling high
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Full name: David Anthony Marshak
Age: 24
Birthday: 2/1/77
Location: colorado
Parents names: Ann and Chris
Siblings names: none
Pets names: saki
Describe your appearance: 6'3", white, tall, black hair, hazel eyes, skinny,
...
ANNOYANCES
Most annoying person you know: johnny hathaway
Most annoying celebrity: fran drescher
Most annoying TV character: nanny fine
Most annoying movie character: canada from akira
Most annoying song: Who let the dogs out
Most annoying radio DJ: ?? radio ??
Most annoying sound: johnny's voice
Most annoying thing people do: talk shit about supposed friends
AH THE SEXY PEOPLE
Hottest person you know: crys
Hottest actor/actress: meg ryan
First person you ever thought was hot: meg ryan
Hottest person you've kissed: crys
Hottest person you've gone out with: crys
WHICH OF YOUR FRIENDS....
Drinks the most: zeb
Gets the most "action": no one serious no one
Is the worst driver: hathaway
Do you wish you could be for a day: mat lillard
Is the smartest: me
Is the most athletic: ahahahahahahaha
Would be the first to get married: wendy
Has horrible luck with the opposite sex: wendy hathaway fatty marc donnie, etc
BOOZE Q'S
Last time you drank but didn't get drunk: last night
Last time you drank and got totally wasted: 6 years ago
Have you ever puked from drinking too much: yes
Have you ever passed out from drinking too much: yes
Does your personality totally change when your drunk: i get happy drunk
Have you ever gotten drunk and hooked up with someone: no
Have you ever done something when drunk that got you in a lot of trouble: no
Have your parents ever seen you drunk: no
FUNNY STUFF
Funniest person you know: me
Funniest movie: something about mary
Funniest TV show: seinfeld
Funniest song: ???
Funniest celebrity: seinfeld
Funniest photo you have: rave pictures from hydra
Funniest thing that ever happened to you: no comment
Funniest sound: ???
RELATIONSHIPS
Have you ever Cheated: no
Has anyone ever cheated on you: yes
Have you ever dumped someone for someone else: once
Has anyone ever dumped you for someone else:yes
One good thing about being single: if only sex replaced love
YOUR OPINION ON....
Abortion: choice
Death penalty: i likie exile more
"Reality" TV shows: FUCK THIS
Boy bands: should be put to death
Britney Spears: should be raped by taylor and then put to death
Napster: they are making a huge deal about napster when there are like 500000000 more things out there tht are better, i have bearshare and limewire which both let me download movies and pictures too
Eminem: uck
Movie nudity: fun
current mood:  chipper
current music: crystal method - high roller
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(comment on this)
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7:31 pm - zenith micro-touch 2g
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When was the last time you ...
Smiled?: right now
Laughed?: 30 seconds ago
Cried?: 2 months
Bought something? today
Were sarcastic?: always
Kissed someone?: today
Talked to an ex?:4 months
Watched your favorite movie?: 3 days ago
Had a nightmare?: when i was 5
A Last time for everything.......
Last book you read: koontz-seize the night
Last movie you saw: evolution
Last song you heard: see post
Last thing you had to drink: lemonaide
Last time you showered: yesterday
Last thing you ate: wendys
Do You...
Smoke?: no
Do drugs?: yes
Have sex?: yes
Sleep with stuffed animals?: no
Live in the moment?: not enough
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: kinda
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: not anymore
Play an instrument?: yes
Believe there is life on other planets?: yes
Read the newspaper?: no
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: yes
Believe in miracles?: yes
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: no
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: depends
Consider love a mistake?: sometimes
Like the taste of alcohol?: no
Have a favorite candy?: yes
Believe in astrology?: no
Believe in magic?: no
Believe in God?: yes
Pray?: no
Go to church? no
Have any secrets? yes
Have any pets?: yes
Do well in school?: sometimes
Go to or plan to go to college? yes
Have any piercings? yes
Have any tattoos? no
Hate yourself?: never
Have an obsessions?: yes
Have a secret crush? yes
Collect anything?.yes
Wish on stars?: yes
Like your handwriting?: yes
Have any bad habits?: yes
Care about looks?: YES!
Believe in witches? no
Believe in Satan? yes
Believe in ghosts?: no
current mood:  anxious
current music: dj en - no 9
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(comment on this)
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2:22 pm - alrteady
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so i have noticed that in my LJ i am already bitching too much for mine own liking. I guess sometimes, maybe even more often than not, i complain to make myself do things to fix things. I guess basically i want some adventure in my life, maybe thats where this obsession with this girl who probably doesnt exsist comes from this crazy girl who will change my life, so compelling i imagine her... so allured am i in this dream that i follow her without worry of recourse never have i felt like that... but i want to... i want to feel this way about someone, maybe i need to feel this way.... i've never gotten up and felt great just because they were there next to me.... i want to be so lost in it that i can barely function....
argh, and the sad reality is so many times of dumb games and bullshit has left me to cautious to want to make the jump... now i'm becomming to afraid to ante up when the time comes, despite my inner intentions... ahhhhhh, where is my shining princess in armor... hehehehehehe yeah yeah i'm a mushy fool, better to believe and have pure hope in a beautiful dream that never comes true than to give up on my dreams and become... GASP... one of them.... i dont know, everyone else seems to give up, and i can see thats obviously working, so go out and try try agin i guess eh? maybe its that i've lost what made me so lost in my dreams that bit of hope that causes my ambition to take over, maybe i have lost that eager outlook... i became an adult and life got to important... how to get back to that without being stupid and dumb like i was?
i dont think these feelings are hand in hand....
hmmmm
"dont think cause i understand i care"." laid out low, nothing to go, nowhere a way to meet" "so far off losing out round here" "to me your better than i want to be"
i feel so much and when real time comes into play i get nothing... life takes over and i'm to busy again to even see me, to even remember why i got up...
what do you think?
current mood:  crazy
current music: The Dust Brothers - This Is Your Life
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(comment on this)
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1:43 pm - longevity
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Taken from the journal of shakethediease
If I were a stone, I would be: amethist
If I were a tree, I would be: an aspen
If I were a bird, I would be: a blue jay
If I were an insect, I would be: a bee
If I were a machine, I would be: a record player
If I were a tool, I would be: george bush
If I were a fruit, I would be: an orange
If I were a flower, I would be: a snapdragon
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: warm rain
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: a centaur
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a synth
If I were a kind of profession, I would be: a therapist
If I were an animal, I would be: a ????
If I were anything in the world, I would be: lost in love
If I were a color, I would be: ocean water green
If I were a fragrance, I would be: curve
If I were an emotion, I would be: bliss
If I were a state or feeling, I would be: hope
If I were a vegetable, I would be: a carrot
If I were a sound, I would be: whispers
If I were an element, I would be: water
Taken from the journal of shakethedisease
Number of times I have been in love: 3
Number of times I have had my heart broken: 3
Number of hearts I have broken: 1
Number of boys I have kissed in my life: 0
Number of girls I have kissed: 5
Number of continents I have visited: this one
Number of drugs taken illegally: 3
Number of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends: 3
Number of people from high school that I stayed in contact with: 1
Number of cd's that I own: ??
Number of piercings: 1
Number of tattoos: 0 yet
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper:1
Number of scars on my body:6
Number of people that has made me scared of what they could do to me physically: 3
Number of things in my past that I regret: 1
current mood: powerful
current music: The Crystal Method - Cherry Twist
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(comment on this)
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2:33 am - courage and anticipation in the rockies
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today was verrrry great... my mixing is top quality..., i feel good saying that, which means even me thinks so, which.... i AM so very my worst critic....
but it was good... heres where i am supposed to say something moving about all this but maybe not... who is to know... i'll say:
listen all ye who tread this far you are in store for a story of some magnitude of my life... my wish is that this all goes well and that it's intresting... maybe not... i hope i meet someone who is so amazing that my life will forever change in some great way it's happened before please let it again.... i think that people forget how to be human, and thats the saddest thing that can happen to someone....all of a sudden they turn into vampires or zombies... one of the two...an amazing crazy girl who will be very good for me... what do you think?
current mood:  bouncy
current music: TrevorAndSimon - PhattMove
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 12th, 2001
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10:45 am - holy she-at
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i live in shitsville, but i was too scared to leave for ages, and now i have to leave by feb of next year, and i'm still apprehensive and shit... why? this place has nothing, i could have left 2 years ago and all of this would still be the same...
i dont know... it's the question of whether new experiences will kill me or not right? nothing is set you cant gurantee anything... wheres that girl i was supposed to meet again? oh well...
if i had more money that would solve about 65 or more percent of my problems, then i could concentrate on the real shit of life the stuff that makes it all what it is... i figure behind having a job, and going out, and friendly drama, and blah blah blah, behind all that is real life where all that really matters is your happiness and your real true life.. fullfillment of the soul and such... and we ignore that and prefer the trials and tribulations of the cash money exsistence.... only god knows why and so life continues in this ever increasing evil world of shit that mnatters only because we say it does so we can die truly unhappy and blah... i have one of those friends he likes to say, you know if it was all good you'd have nothing to compare the good to, precisely i say... why should i want to compare the good to the bad to know how good something is? or he'll say "that's life" and i ALWAYS say, thats not life asshole, thats stupid human bullshit, real life is finding out what will make you happy and fullfilled whatw ill ensure your happy when you die with no regrets... rich in your self... he thinks i'm crazy but i know better you wont see me dying sad realizing i spent 3/4's of my life working at a job where the only thing that ever got fullfilled was some ladies number 3 or anything like that... hence my anticipation and yet fear of this upcoming moving trip... will i make it there? i always have you anonymous people reading this... i need a girl, an amazing fantastic crazy happy good times girl to share it with... i bet she's saying the same thing... minus the girl part i hope... what do you think?
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 5th, 2001
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2:37 am - see this what i mean
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this one does it too..
l;isten you have to go outside at midnight and forget everything you now about this place and let go, cause all of this DOESNT MATTER.... in retrospective to whats going on in and to your soul this is just peanuts, baby puppet shows... cause the deeper truth is how beautiful we are when we feel, and all this out here, all this shit they tell us is so important is basically crap layered onto a real place we dont even know we're missing... you think that whatever power god whatever, really wants you to waste 3/4's of your life earning money to buy nothing that you have 10 years later, fossil fuels and bullshit that never amounts to a full feeling... it's here to confuse you, if you pay to much attention you become numb and it all passess you by and the next thing your 45 and your kids dont talk to you anymore and you have nothing to live for... or so you think...
because all that happened is you lost the truth, anyone who hasnt felt it was dead long ago, and people who have know exactly what i mean, some will say you have to let the foolish child in you go... this is ridiculous it's easy to label something so true in you as childish because all those rules say it cant be right, and that cant stand to think it's all a farce....
where is that cross road i never took? that four way road i never got to stand at and choose my life... thats freedom.... thats the american dream, but there is no undiscovered country to be alone in, or to even seek refuge at with the other...crazies?!?! not these days....
i know whats going on, but i cant fix it or find the way... anyone? am i crazy? i doubt it, are you? should we be? ideas? thoughts?
urville
current mood:  indescribable
current music: tori amos - silent all these years
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(comment on this)
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2:27 am - tesko suicide
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this song always makes my mind work strange... it's not the girl singing, it's the whole thing without her it's nothing without the song she's pointless, you understand? it does something to me, i rememebr certain memories that in turn open doors that hold feelings i havent had since i was "innocent" as they say... it's at times like this irealize i dont have these feelings anymore at all at thats bad cause even not having them very often would be unacceptable.... i was losing it i think... losing that thing that makes us mostly impenitrable, that thing inside of you.... kept you dreaming, kept you in hope, and made certain parts of life so fantastic and yet other parts so dark and essentiallydisturbing...
what i rememebr alot is wanting her, who is she?, who was she? i dont know i never found her... i found the false prophet and she broke something... see?!?! shit somehow i let this all get to important, i forgot that life can be an amazing dream filled... adventure... thats the word...
i feel so much in comparison to then... i had a chicky, and we had a youngin... but thats all another thing... i'm still here... i'm still that guy and it's getting stronger again, that feeling, like i can get back to it and now with maturity and more compassion... i've hurt, i've hit zero and come up... "you have to lose everything before you can accomplish anything"...
see i've figured out that for me it's in the feeling not the actual event... if i can MAKE myself feel like this at will with imple music then any given situation has any meaning i want it to have, if only i didnt need the music to inspire the feeling... i need to gt in control of my emotions i want to make them at my call at least to some small extent, i know this is perfectly possible... right? hmmm... i guess i'm devoted to the life of feelings i only felt bcause i wanted to... or at least i could go my god thid sucks and cry for 5 minutes and then rememebr that even though... say, my g/f just left me.... the world is so good and full of things in it like this song, like poetry inspiried thought, hope...
current mood:  contemplative
current music: sneaker pimps - six underground
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(comment on this)
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1:00 am - this is most intresting
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you know i always thought this woud be a good idea... you get to meet starnge new people totally based upon them, for the most part, reading your wild rantings about your life, and current state of mind.... we live in such a volatile world though, we seperate ourselves from each other on purpose, and we think it makes us stronger and more able to deal with things, less bigged down by the annoying interruptons of socially interacting with one another.... so sad are we....
you know, i cannot believe it is 2001 and this town just got an ice skating rink.... it's 2001 and i still cant believe george bush was allowed to procreate... since when did anyone ask me why he shouldnt be allowed to release his spawn across this planet, probably causing a world wide cataclysmic event ... he's george bush... and his son looks cloned, HEY!!! WAKE UP!!!! FUCK THIS!!!
So anyway, if theres anything i've learned reading these journals is there are too many young, beautiful, girls all fucked up over some asshole being ruined forever by some dumb twat, and i cant stop it, or ever date them all.... what a shame, i see dating and love these days much like an emotional and devastating first 15 minutes of saving private ryan only.... no one dies in the literal sense of the word, at least i hope not..... anyways more later maybe i'll meet some cool people that would make me happy alone let alone some really cool people....,
urville
current mood:  amused
current music: Dust Brothers - This is your life
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urville's journal
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